Six Wholesome Necessities In A Long Distance Relationship
Long-distance relationships don’t get much credit nowadays.
I find Long distance relationships to be among the most challenging forms of relationships. When two people meet online, or if they’re separated by a job or a better life, LDRs are genuinely unique.
Growing up, it was mocked and I don’t even know why since social media has become such a huge part of our lives. This makes it much easier to meet the person you might end up with in the long run online. In a world of 7 billion people, will we assume we will find our life partner in our city, state, or country? In some cases, yes, but not in all cases.
Being realistic here, most of us have busy lives, right? Some of us work two part times and go to school, some may have a full-time job that they dedicate their entire life to, internships, children to take care of whether it is our siblings or nieces/nephews, on top of that with our family events, our me time and our friend schedules it gets fricken hectic if I do say so myself.
*Disclaimer: the advice provided here today is not in any way expert advice but just think of it as your best friend giving you some friendly yet honest truth. PG version at least.
**Another disclaimer, I’m super single so now you’re wondering “why should I listen to your advice?” Well because after some growing up, I’ve realized a lot of my toxic traits and fault in many relationships… I think my advice is worth at least reading. You’ve come this far, lol.
Must have One and Two: Communication & Trust
A relationship is built on communication and trust. Without these two you can’t have a healthy friendship or relationship in any form, these are key factors.
A lot of people have different definitions or expectations when they are in a relationship, so it is best if you talk to your partner (if you haven’t already) about what they expect from you when things do get more serious. What they see in a partner and how they want to carry on about their day with you as their partner, no matter the distance. It is always best to understand what your partner needs and or wants from you currently as well as you expressing the same thing with them.
For instance, you could say “Good morning ___.”. I might not be able to reply to your calls or texts today, but let’s talk later around 7 pm.”
This shows that you will likely be busy today, you might not respond to their messages or calls, and you want to get everything done by the time you talk at 7 pm. When speaking of different time zones, you might want to specify if it’s their time or the time you’re referring to.
Arguments will occur, no relationship is without flaws. If an argument arises, give it the space it deserves. Whenever asked for, provide it. You should then put your foot down and resolve the issue before you head to bed, whether it’s fully resolved or not. Even if it isn’t, it is at least discussed and there’s no negative energy.
Must have Three: Keep the Spark alive
Keeping things fresh or new is very important in a relationship and being so far away from each other makes things super limited. Luckily we live in a time where technology is so overpowering and you can find just about anything and everything on the internet. You could work around each other’s schedule by having a date night— this could be just a video call or phone call, it can be a night where you spend two hours playing video games through PC or any console really, you could even both watch the same movies together by using the zoom application and one person sharing the screen.
Must have Four and Five: Being honest & clearing up time
These two are important, I know I’ve probably said that about the others but if you think about it you need to be honest with yourself and also with your partner to have a healthy relationship. You also need to be able to clear up your schedule and make the time to talk to one another, especially since the distance is already a continuous battle you’ll have a day in and day out.
When I say being honest individually I’m talking about whether or not your intentions are pure within this relationship. Are you being super honest with yourself that you’re okay with a long distance, are you willing to commit to all that a long distance entails are you really into them or into the idea of having someone just there entertaining you when you are alone? Now this can happen while even in this relationship after a year or two, things happen, feelings change but you should consider these before giving your all to someone— wasting your time and their time isn’t a mature thing to do if you have this second thought in the back of your mind from the start. Do you know?
Clearing up your schedules will also be very crucial because as I’ve mentioned above, you are both living two separate lives. You may have a timezone difference, whether that’s an hour difference or a 16-hour difference, any time difference takes a huge part in whether or not you’ll be able to speak that day and just other factors within your relationship. Clear up whether it’s 30 minutes every other day or a whole day (weekend) to have literal time with just each other no distractions— that’s all you need.
Must have SIX: Patience is key
Having patience with anything in life comes with better rewards in the long run, am I right?
Don’t rush into a relationship, to begin with but in your relationship as well don’t rush for things to occur. Allow them to flow naturally, healthy, and into something that you both put effort into having. Something that is rushed can seem to be also forced which 90% of the time may be rushed to end as well. You deserve to love and be loved back at that same capacity if not more. Enjoy the moments.
Relationships can be scary but they are also super beautiful, it just takes the right two people who adore each other and make time for one another.
Good luck to you!
XOX, Brianna Anjelique
