A Letter To Me: Birthday Series 

Today marks 10 days until the one year we have ultimately waited for since we were 16. Never understood why this particular number always felt safe but also at the same time magical. This number as we know is not only the day of our birth but also the school we went to, the age mom had us, and just always being seen in random places throughout the years. Like our own personal Angel number.

I am so proud of us. There have been silent cries and screams that no one has ever seen. There have been breakdowns that we thought we would never get through… breakthroughs that really gave insight into our growth over time. I am so proud of you for never giving up and always pursuing your dreams even if they seemed too big or too much in the eyes of others you attracted in life.

I am so proud of you for never allowing hate and anger to fill up in your heart, mind, and or soul even though you had SO many reasons to. I am so proud of the women we are becoming. We once had no idea who we wanted to be… we acted as we did.. we put up a front for the sake of our own sanity but deep down we were just living day by day on one ultimate goal of just being happy.

Happiness is a subjective topic and I say that because one-day happiness looks different than the next. The definition of happiness can mean so many different things for various people but also different definitions every week, month, or year.

We had unrealistic goals for us to have by this upcoming age and honestly I am really glad that our current version of ourselves isn’t mad or putting that kind of pressure on us anymore.

Having a plan or dreams to work towards is smart don’t get me wrong but we can’t lose sight of also being realistic with what we can handle while juggling everyday life.

Our ADD/ADHD takes a big toll on us and I’m really glad that we stopped forgetting about that diagnosis. Finding new ways to manage energy, learning more about how we could do things better, and being very patient with ourselves has definitely been the best part of the journey.

There were a lot of moments in this journey where we completely forgot about our anxiety… or our lack of dopamine. We would pick things to be that dopamine for a little while and replace them when we felt necessary… which to others just looked like we had no clue what we wanted in life and we were doing too much but it’s not the case at all— we had hoped it could be that simple honestly.

Bringing awareness to our mental health hasn’t been easy amongst friends and family.. but I am so proud that we continue to try.

We have lost probably more than we thought we would this year… but that’s ok. Losing items, money, friends… it’s all part of the process of life and growth. It’s ok to mourn those losses.. but it’s not ok to allow them to consume us.

We found new friends, new ways to make more income; heck even better we found our passion.

This year was fantastic year. It was more ups than downs. It was filled with self-love, self-realization, and following our heart no matter where it led. sometimes it didn’t even make sense but we still followed through and I am very very proud of you.


As I write this today, I think about that 16-year-old girl… the one who always hid behind her mask thinking that no one would love her. Believing that she needed to be what everyone else needed her to be even at such a young age. The one who used writing, dancing, and photography as the escape from reality.. twirling in her royal blue rhinestone dress.. and I know I just know she would be proud of me.

We saw the world as this big scary place. Didn’t know where we would go even though we hoped it would be ABC but ended up being AGQ; get it because there’s spaces due to the number of tries to get certain things right? Ha… ha.. okay lol.

In 10 days we will be starting our chapter 26 bringing along chapters 1-25 with us too of course and I am thankful that we have finally found our muse to blog because another 5 years from now we will be able to look at physical proof of our 26-30 journey and I honestly can’t wait.

Xoxo,
Brianna Anjelique