Talking to Your Child About Mental Health

Tips for Parents

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    Growing up I always knew I was different. I wasn’t interested in a lot of things for long periods of time, I didn’t find playing the games my friends wanted to play for hours on end worth my time. I enjoyed being alone with my own creative mind. I was simply different and ok with that.

In the middle of third grade, when I was 9 years old, I was diagnosed with ADD. Since 2018, it has been just spoken about as a whole with ADHD. Being that I was young, I don’t recall much of my own thoughts and feelings about being ‘different’, since it wasn’t common especially for young girls to be diagnosed. However, the older I got the more it became a burden but the problem was that I never voiced how much it bothered me. 

I’m a bit biased but my parents truly are the best. They supported my older brother and I in all of our endeavors while growing up, kept us out of trouble (more him than me.. Just saying :p) and they always gave us not only what was needed but what we wanted too. We are two lucky kids and now adult kids because their love and support has never become less throughout the years.

While they have always said we could come to them for anything.. I couldn’t get myself to speak about my feelings or mental health as openly as I do now. I don’t believe that mental health was even spoken about in the slightest bit back then the way it has been in the last 5-6 years.  

The reason why I really wanted to touch base on this topic is because of my diagnosis. If there were a bit more of these tips I’m going to share with you available during that time inside of my family, I feel like it would’ve created a different dynamic with my current self and my overall mental health. I have made certain decisions in my life that have created a long term effect for me now as an adult which is why sharing my experiences and hopefully providing these tips (here and ongoing mental health blog posts) will be insightful and ultimately helpful. 

If you’d like to know more about my story with ADHD, stay tuned. I’ll be coming out with more blog posts in the months of June & July. For now you can read more about ADD and ADHD here. 

Another good reason is how growing the statistics are for mental health in future generations. It’s not spoken about enough and that is the main reason why I want to bring this up on my blog. I believe it should start to be focused on at a younger age especially because that is when they are absorbing all information and are influenced by their peers most. Personally, I didn’t grow up fully understanding mental health and how important it is. As I’ve gotten older I’ve seen just how important it is to practice self-care on a day-to-day basis and not just schedule it 2-3 times a week. It is VERY crucial, especially in the world we currently live in.

Lastly, my decision to write this blog post topic is because I would love to be a parent some

 day. The closest I’ve been to raising a child so far is partially through my Godson/nephew. If there’s anything that I’ve learned seeing him grow to be the young man he is right now and the way this world currently is, I want to emphasize how important mental health should be taken seriously.

I will also share throughout this blog post some statistical facts gathered during my research as I know sometimes seeing the numbers can provide a bigger overall picture.  

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) estimates that half of all mental health

conditions begin by age 14.

Mental health is a topic that affects us all, regardless of age or background.

However, talking to children about mental health can be challenging for parents who may not know where to start or how to approach the conversation. It’s important to remember that mental health is just as important as physical health, and talking openly and honestly with your child about mental health can help them better understand their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. In this blog post, we’ll discuss some tips for parents to help them start a conversation about mental health with their child.

1. Normalize the Conversation

One of the most important things to remember when talking to your child about mental health is to normalize the conversation. Let your child know that it’s okay to talk about their emotions and mental health, and that it’s a normal part of life.

Try your best to avoid using stigmatizing language or labeling your child as “crazy” or “unstable”. This will only discourage your child from opening up about their feelings and seeking help when they need it.

2. Create a Safe Space

Creating a safe and supportive environment is essential for any conversation about mental health. Choose a quiet and comfortable space where you and your child can talk without distractions. This includes any other children, pets or the phone ringing/notifications. Make sure your child feels heard and validated by actively liste

ning to their concerns and showing empathy. You can prepare some open ended questions that can help guide your child to understand what you’re wanting to know or speak about.

Avoid judgmental or dismissive statements, and instead, focus on providing support and understanding.

Some open ended questions you can ask are:

There are many other open ended questions that you can ask. Don’t be afraid to google some more or even utilize social media sites like Instagram or TikTok. I’ve actually learned A LOT about my own ADHD symptoms through videos. We all learn and absorb information differently and definitely don’t be so hard on yourself. These conversations are to help not only your child but you understand how to help guide them the best. You’re doing amazing!!

 

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) estimates that 1 in 8 children aged 6-17 have an anxiety disorder.

3. Be Honest and Open

When talking to your child about mental health, it’s important to be honest and open about your own experiences. Share your own struggles with mental health or those of people close to you. This will show your child that they are not alone and that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s also important to emphasize that mental health is not a weakness, and seeking help is a sign of strength. This can also create a safe environment for them to come to you more often. They will also probably start checking in on you, which is a win-win in my book.

 

I’d like to pause and share this app/site that I have been using for a year now. It is called BetterHelp. In May 2022, I signed up and had the easiest profile setup experience. I was able to try the program for a week FREE since I utilized a friends referral code. You can find mine attached to the name in the beginning of the sentence or here.

I did go through 2 therapists before I found the right therapist for me. Don’t get me wrong the other two did help but they weren’t 100% what I personally needed. You’re able to switch therapists at anytime you see fit. You can cancel your subscription whenever as well as come back whenever, as long as you just unsubscribe and NOT delete the account.

With BetterHelp you’re able to text your therapist 24/7, it doesn’t mean they WILL respond at all hours but depending on your therapist, they just might surprise you. You’re also able to have 1-4 live sessions every 4 weeks per your specific plan that you choose at sign up. You can always pay additional for the extra live sessions. Live sessions can be video call, phone call or just live chat.

The reason I love BetterHelp is because of how convenient it is for me, I don’t have much time to set aside to really physically go anywhere, I can have a live session during lunch breaks or right before work starts in the comfort of my own home. I also really like that the price is anywhere from $160 – $320 a month depending on your choice of subscription, most therapists elsewhere cost about $200-400 if not more PER session!!!

BetterHelp is for YOU and you can utilize it to best help your own mental health journey and potentially speak to that therapist about bringing the conversation to your child as well.

4. Use Age-Appropriate Language

When discussing mental health with your child, it’s important to use age-appropriate language. Use simple, concrete terms to describe different mental health conditions and explain how they can affect a person’s emotions and behavior. For example, you might explain that anxiety can make a person feel worried or nervous all the time, or that depression can cause a person to feel sad or unmotivated. Using language that your child can understand will help them feel more comfortable and engaged in the conversation.

The NSCH states that 1 in 11 children aged 6-17 have had severe depression in the past year.

5. Focus on Coping Strategies

Talking to your child about mental health isn’t just about identifying problems – it’s also about empowering them with coping strategies. Encourage your child to express their emotions in healthy ways, such as journaling, drawing, or talking to a trusted friend or family member. Teach them relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation, and encourage them to engage in physical activities that can boost their mood, like going for a walk or playing sports.

A journal that I recommend is Cosmic Thoughts. You can find more about it at the end of this post.

6. Seek Professional Help if Needed

While having open and honest conversations about mental health can be helpful, it’s important to recognize when your child may need professional help. If your child is experiencing persistent sadness, anxiety, or other symptoms of mental illness, it’s important to seek the help of a mental health professional. This may include a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist who can provide your child with the support and treatment they need to improve their mental health.

Avoid trying to ‘force’ your child into seeking help. Have an open conversation about this as well with them and see if they are opened to it. If not, ease their way into it. Maybe find a family therapist or one that is ok with you joining in until your child is comfortable with being alone with the therapist/counselor/etc..

If that is not an option that you or your child are comfortable with, try finding mentoring or big sis/big brother programs and do intensive research about them to see if it fits for YOU and YOUR CHILD. Everyone is certainly different and mental health is not linear at all. As I’m sure you know this already but a villa

ge is needed for our babies, don’t give up on the first 2 or even 3 tries, keep going.

I’d like to thank Blair for pointing out this amazing resource that you’d be able to use. Psychology Today  is a website that can easily help you find a professional in your area. You can also utilize their website for additional tips straight from professionals!

In conclusion…

Talking to your child about mental health can be challenging, but it’s an important conversat

ion to have. By normalizing the conversation, creating a safe space, being honest and open, using age-appropriate language, focusing on coping strategies, and seeking professional help if needed, you can help your child develop a better understanding of mental health and build healthy coping mechanisms. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers – the most important thing is to listen to your child and provide them with the support they need to improve their mental health.

My last thoughts.

I want to give a huge shout out to a like minded individual Blair from Cosmic Thoughts. She and I worked together on this blog post as a collaboration for National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day  which

is on May 7th. When putting this blog post together, I experienced a bit of writer’s block but Blair did provide amazing insight and pointers to get me in the groove. What stood out to me is that she stated something along the lines of, ‘don’t forget you were once a child’, which really sparked a lot. I am always up for spreading awareness and challenging myself to step out of comfort zones, which this did just that.

Mental health is something i’ve been openly speaking about since 2019 on social media. I want to incorporate it more on my blog because although I am no longer a child, i once was and I had been diagnosed with something at a very young age that wasn’t very common for young girls to be diagnosed with. That alone caused a lo

t of internal battles. It was an honor to be able to write about this topic and I truly hope i’ve done it half the justice.

 

Blair did want to share some words herself, take it away Blair!

Thank you Brianna for having me and thinking enough of my work to include it in your passion. Cosmic Thoughts is a passion project that was motivated by seeing the lack of creative journals available for boys. In addition pink and unicorn-dressed journals being readily available promotes the idea that that’s all girls like.

Cosmic Thoughts is for the present and inner child, boy, girl, or otherwise. We must be present and promote mental health in childhood so we raise mentally stable adults. I’d love for the journal to be apart of your house as a tool to cultivate a positive relationship between your child and their emotions.

Beautiful words Blair, love what you’ve created and cannot wait to see how it flourishes and helps others.

Lastly, I did want to point out that Blair created this graphic, (you can see above the blog post as well) for me and has amazing work that you should fully support and check out. You can stay up to date with Blair’s journey here, here and here. Thank you again Blair, it’s been amazing working with you.